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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Official Beta Tester machine22/Male/Unknown Groups :iconspookyutau: SpookyUTAU
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Deviant for 3 Years
9 Month Premium Membership
Statistics 209 Deviations 5,683 Comments 27,144 Pageviews


what kind of vibe do you get from me 

8 deviants said dark/mysterious
7 deviants said memelord
5 deviants said cheerful/excitable
2 deviants said troubled


:iconnightmargin: :iconjcm2: :icondrawkill: :iconavaraa: :iconirenhorrors: :icondonitkitt: :iconfearcrowz: :iconkaneoyasachiko: :iconmadlittleclown: :iconnanomortis: :iconp-cate: :iconcottonvalent: :iconstatic-byte: :iconabigaillarson: :iconseaweedy: :iconparororo: :iconbriankesinger: :iconmeammy: :iconcountandra: :iconpissqueer: :iconakiramarina:


hi bae
Wed Dec 24, 2014, 6:24 PM
Fri Dec 19, 2014, 6:54 PM
Mon Dec 1, 2014, 6:43 PM
Thu Nov 27, 2014, 7:46 PM
when will my sleep return from war
Tue Nov 25, 2014, 10:31 PM



:iconsui-kyatto: :icontha-pink-kitty-kat: :icontakapaku-p: :iconechovoice713: :iconofficialmeltdown:

im home

Journal Entry: Thu Jan 22, 2015, 10:10 AM
im finally home

first and foremost im safe, and thank you to those who wished me well

secondly im so glad that i asked for the help i needed when i did- this time away helped me gain a clear perspective on things, and after some things medicinally got straightened around, im much clearer mentally

i met so many amazing and strong people there who i will never forget

and it helped me realize that i might be a bit stronger than i give myself credit for

im happy to say that no longer am i living in the emotionally and verbally abusive household that i was living in, and i am now supported by a loving family who i am grateful to in a way in which words cannot even begin describe

now that im in a home where i can live without fear, in a home where i no longer feel the need to hide away or as though im nothing but a dollar sign, i can finally move on with my life and work toward the independence i finally realize i deserve

im happy to see the sun, im happy to see daylight, im happy to leave the house and to breathe fresh air

im happy to take on the feeling of not obligation, but responsibility

im grateful for everyone who helped me realize that i am not to blame for my circumstances, and that while i felt completely alone, i never truly was

im grateful for those who helped me to learn that while ive come from an unfortunate and miserable situation, that i need not pity myself and wallow in the  past, but to learn from my situation, and use it as a example as to how not to treat others

im grateful that ive learned to appreciate the happy little things like a friends hug or a pets affection, because things like those are so easy to take for granted

i cannot possibly express how grateful i am to my friends- my real family- who made me realize that im here for a reason, and that my life wouldnt have been just another statistic

while i will never really be "healed" or "fixed" i realize that i dont need to be

and i hope that through my rocky journey ill be able to help others

even more than that i want whoever reads this to know that you are loved, somewhere by someone regardless of how alone you may feel

that when it seems like all doors are closed, it is impossible to predict when and where the next will open, and in an instant a barren wasteland can grow into a garden, even if it starts with a single blade of grass

to those reading, if you ever need help, please, ask for it, because you will be so happy you did

and if you ever need a listening ear and it seems as though no one will listen, im here to listen, even if you just need to vent

lastly, thank you to those whove shown your support all this time; even something as simple as favouriting a drawing of mine means the world to me

i love all of you; and you are all important and amazing

and im happy to be back

im happy to be home

  • Mood: Optimism
  • Playing: Tomodachi Life
  • Drinking: Coffee


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Mimmi-chan99 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the llama! ^^
clearlymachine Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
np !
Pupuomena Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Student General Artist
Thank you for favorite!
clearlymachine Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
np !
Purinblood Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist… ;v; I hope you like this! 
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